Dear Poppy (@MadamePomfrey),
I woke up with terrible spots all over my face. They’re horrible and I simply must be rid of them. I have a most important meeting after the weekend, and I simply cannot be seen in public as such. Please help! ~Spotty in Devonshire.
For every ailment, a cure.
Dear Spotty in Devonshire,
It saddens my heart to inform you that you are suffering from Spattergroit.
The traditional cure for Spattergroit may not always be desirable in cases of allergies to liver, shortness of toads, frogs, newts, and other amphibians, and last but not least the oft overcast weather in the Northern Hemisphere, which often prevents access to the full moon.
Over the years, I am often sought out by many distraught young witches and wizards who suffer of Spattergroit, the unbecoming spots marring their features often a cause for many a heart breaks and sleepless nights.
As such, I have long since sought after a more agreeable solution, one that does not require the oft tricky phases of the moon, nor will it set a dent in my stock of Pepper-Up potions after the naked forms, having stood beneath the full moon in a barrel of eels’ eyes, return, frozen to the bones, sniveling and aching; and of course, this solution is sans the patented “ick”-factor.
Here I will share with you two moon-less solutions, both free of amphibian and other bottom dwelling sea creatures:
A. Create a thick paste of unrefined Butyrospermum parkii mixed with a small amount of water. Spoon the paste into a rectangular mold, (you may use one of your thicker cookie cutters if you fail to procure the appropriate mold) and immediately cast a setting charm. Ease the block out of the mold and proceed to wash your face with it twice a day for a week.
B. Grate 12 cm of Amoracia rusticana into 25 ml of cider vinegar. Cast a shaking and time accelerating charm on the mixture and allow it to sit for ten full minutes. Once the mixture is fully infused, apply a thin coat to the spots and watch them vanish within three days. You could even save your leftover solution if you remember to cast a freezing charm on the vial.
Ginger Warning: Please note that Spattergroit is not freckles. Do not attempt to “cure” your freckles away.
Curing wizarding world’s children one spot at the time.